“Hey Merea. Since Pastor Matt is talking about singleness this weekend, would you share your thoughts on singleness with the blog readers?”

Welp. Sure. I don’t love being the spokesperson for the single life. Can I be a spokesperson for something else? Ha.

Friends. Let’s be real right off the bat here. That’s our vision right? Hope that’s okay.

If I could have, I would have gotten married at 23. But the right man didn’t come along at that point. And I’ve dated some guys, some real great ones, some real not so great ones, made lots of mistakes along the way. Even in my 30s now, I find myself still making efforts to do the right thing, still making mistakes, still need God and His grace like crazy. 

I mean, I don’t have a ton of men at my doorstep, but I do have opportunities that I’ve had to deny. He doesn’t love the Lord, doesn’t attend church and lives a very different lifestyle than me. But he wants to be with me. Saying no to that has been incredibly hard. I yearn for the day I get to say “Yes!” To the right one. The choices are torturous sometimes. Right?

There are times I think my life is fabulous, I love being single. Love the opportunity to do what I want, travel where I want to, live with some of the most incredible friends on planet earth. Last year, I went on an African safari and then to New York City at Christmas, all on a whim. No kidding, I decided just a few short weeks before each of those trips to go. That will be different with a husband and kiddos for sure. I have time to go to the local coffee shop on my day off to read, sit, journal, pray. I spend time with people one to one to invest in them multiple times a week. I would be sad to give those things up someday.

The Bible Tells Me So

So what’s the point of it all anyway? Does the Bible say anything about being single? We hear about marriage, parenting and things like that a lot. There are so many wonderful things to cultivate in those from scripture. Is there a specific purpose to singleness? What do we cultivate in singleness?

You ready for this? It’s awesome. Here is one of the most clear passages about what do you with your single life. And surprisingly, the Apostle Paul says singleness is better than marriage. Check it out:

“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs, how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, how he can please his wife and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world, how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is, and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.” 1 Corinthians 7:39-40

Sometimes I read this passage and am faced with the choice to believe the word of God or not, right away. The Bible has a way of bringing us to our senses, convicting us, empowering us and changing our perspective. We, as believers, are single for a reason. What is it?

Undivided Devotion.

Is that sobering or what? God has chosen this season for you because He wants to use you in incredible ways. The married person is distracted by the life of parenting and spouses in a way that single people are not. Singles have the call to live for one thing and one thing only: the purposes of God. Getting married will take away the chance to live fully focussed on that.

Whoa. That doesn’t seem like the things I’ve heard. Well, the Bible said it.

There is a silly lie going around in the christian circles that needs to be addressed by these passages. The lie: “You are not married because you are too distracted, and you need to become less distracted before you get into a relationship/marriage.” That may have some truth to it, but here is what is really true.

You are single and you need to live in an undistracted devotion to Christ. When and if you choose to get married, it will be a distraction from that life of focus. So. Start living undistracted. Get devoted to doing the work of the Lord.

Your single life is not a punishment for not being good enough to get married.

Do I need to write that again?

Your single life is not a punishment for not being good enough to get married.

Use this time to do all you can for Him. He deserves it!

The Struggle is Real

All that to say, sometimes we just need people to articulate the struggle. That’s why I read the Psalms. David gets it. He wrestles with life, longing and emotion. I think God tends to our hearts in the deepest ways when we wrestle with our emotions honestly before him. I think it’s healthy to struggle with truth, let it get inside of you. This whole single thing is a worthy struggle.

My wrestle often looks like a Psalm of David, so I thought I’d close out the blog writing a Psalm of my own:

Why have you chosen this path for me? I feel alone and scared that it will be forever.

Don’t forget my desires Oh God.

Take this wrestle away from me. Make my desire become desire for you only.

For only You satisfy.

 

My body is betraying me. It wants all the things that I’m not allowed.

I want what is only natural to want. It feels overwhelming at times.

Help me keep myself with your word. For your word is pure and you desire it for me too.

Let me keep dying to myself so that I can live the life you have given me freely.

 

Why are the only guys that like me ungodly? Day and night there are temptations pursuing me.

It’s hard to stay focussed.

Because they see the beauty of God in you.

You are beautiful my child because I made you that way. I love you more than you know

Thank you God. Help me to continually care about representing the beauty that you are.

 

Will this season last forever? Can you bring a change please?

I am doing a work that is far greater than you can imagine. I want to use you for amazing purpose.

My ways are higher than your ways. Trust me in this. I know best.

 

I will trust you my rock and my God.

I will do my best to make you known in this small life that I have.

There is no one greater than you and you are far more worthy of my life than any man.

 

Your word is true. And in your word, you say it’s better to be single. It doesn’t feel that way.

Help me to believe you.

If you’ve given me this treasure, help me to multiply it and bring it as an offering of praise.

 

Help me live undistracted, unhindered and devoted to You.

You alone are my joy.

I long for a lover, but You are the lover of my soul and the fountain of life.

I love you the most.

One thought on “Undivided Devotion

  1. I always feel encouraged and known by you and your words, Merea. Thank you for your boldness, vulnerability and obedience to this. It had blessed many lives greatly-myself included.
    And that Psalm though! 🙌😭🙌

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