As people, we’re a mixture of many things, most of them seemingly at odds with one another. We’re happy for our engaged friend, but sad that we’re single. We’re hurting for our friends’ struggle, but can see the hope that it can change. We’re excited to see our kids grow up and learn to do more, but miss the way they used to need us.
I heard a story once about an elephant in a circus. It was a cruel circus, one where the elephant was chained up every night, taught a certain routine and performed it in exchange for a prize. At the end of every show, the elephant would bow then be locked up again for the toil of another day. The elephant strived and tried to earn favor, making a tireless effort to please the various ringmasters who continued asking for and exploiting every applause and piece of silver from the audience. Continually paying pretentious compliments to the elephant in front of others, the ringmaster quickly cast the creature aside after each show.
When a piece of your past comes back around it can be an opportunity to either shrink back from that pain or stand tall remembering the growth that has occurred. Things like bumping into an ex, hearing a certain song or seeing an old picture are moments that measure that growth, just to name a few. Or in my case, like having to get a police report from a past offense so you can move forward in the foster/adoption process.
Somewhere along the way I stopped dreaming. Not the kind of dream that happens when you drift off to sleep, but belief in the extraordinary kind. The fountain from which these dreams once flowed effortlessly had dried up. Unfulfilled hopes alongside unmet expectations that were entangled with sacrifices that didn’t pay off had certainly contributed to my newfound impoverished ambition. I can’t quite remember when the drought began, but I could feel something in me changing.
Happy New Year!
It seems like just yesterday that we were wrapping up holiday services in our new sanctuary and catching our breath from installing a new location in East Valley. Flash forward a year and we’re wrapping up holiday services and catching our breath as we prepare for 2017.
Along the way, we’ve developed new processes and procedures for everything from how people get scheduled, how people stay connected and how people get onboard. We’ve got new voices, players and production techs. We’ve got new gear, new computers and new and new and new and new… but for a moment, I’d like to pause and think about the past.